With Every Beat of My Heart
by BlackImprint
Summary: "Ness …" he breathed, "My Ness…" and tightened his arm around me… I breathed in the woodsy scent of his skin, listening again to the beat, beat, beat of his strong steady heart.' The imprint, Nessie's perspective. *SUNFLOWER AWARDS- BEST ONE-SHOT NOMINEE*


**A/N - **_This is is my first go at writing a fanfic. I would really appreciate any feedback – positive or otherwise, it all helps!_

_Cheers,  
>~ BlackImprint<em>

_[Update: Sequel posted 18 Dec 2011]_

**All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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><p>"Ness …" he breathed, "My Ness…" and tightened his arm around me. He had dozed off and was talking in his sleep again.<p>

I leaned in closer and rested my ear against his warm chest, listening to the steady sound of his beating heart. "I'm here, honey." I closed my eyes and wished that I could make this moment last forever. I loved him so much. If I could make time stand still, this would be the moment I'd wrap in a blue cloud-cloth and lock away, safe forever from the too-rough fingers of the world.

We were sitting on our porch swing, as we had done so many summer evenings over the years. I loved this sturdy old house, and remembered the day Jake had bought this piece of land overlooking Wolf Lake. It was our little piece of heaven on earth, and brick by brick he had built my dreams with his own two hands. I closed my eyes and savoured the familiar warmth and comfort that was my Jake. I breathed in the woodsy scent of his skin, listening again to the beat, beat, beat of his strong steady heart. In the distance, the wind whispered through the trees, and a flock of geese fluttered away across the lake.

I absentmindedly played with the buttons on Jake's shirt as my mind wandered back to that day, so many years ago. The first time I saw him.

He was beautiful. I know, that's a funny thing to say about a guy, but there was no other word to describe him. I was less than an hour old, but my half-vampire senses noticed a figure out of the corner of my eye. A tall russet-skinned man, crouched down in an attack stance, summoning his strength as if he were about to do something unspeakable. He was obviously in pain – his body wracked with anguish and heartache. The sheer fury that poured from his very being should have scared me, but it didn't. I was drawn to him in a way I didn't understand. His body tensed as he got ready to spring. I was frozen, mesmerised. His muscles rippled as he leaned forward, and I thought for a moment that he was going to crush me - But then he looked up and our eyes met.

The world stopped, and everything else fell away. Everything, except for those dark onyx eyes. He was staring at me with such intensity it burned to my very core, and then settled into a warm, wonderful glow. I felt a thread weave itself between us, connecting my soul to his. And then the strands became stronger, twisting themselves into a rope, then a steel cable, then another cable, and another, pulling me towards him. The corners of his warm brown eyes crinkled upwards as his face broke into a grin. The anger that had been burning in them now replaced with a joy that seemed to radiate from every fibre of his being. I reached out my hand, and he lifted me up in his arms. From that moment, we were inseparable. He was forever imprinted to my soul, and I to his.

Jake always said I was the gravity that held him to this earth, that his world revolved around me. That, he explained, was how the imprint worked. He would be whatever I needed – my protector, my best friend, and always there for me no matter what. But I thought Jake had it around the wrong way – he was the light of my life, my warmth in the coldness of night, my own personal sun - it was _my_ world that revolved around _him_.

I grew up in the warmth that was my Jake. Just being near him made me feel whole. I had always loved him in one way or another – my big brother, best friend, confidante. And then one day my heart began to ache for him with a longing I didn't understand at first. I'd watch him for hours, stealing small glimpses and trying not to get caught. My heart quickened every time he came into a room, and my breathing would hitch. I don't know how he never noticed, I was such pathetic lovesick teenager.

Since I had started school, Jake would pick me up most mornings and drop me off, kissing me lightly on the forehead as he told me 'see you later'. He always made a point of saying 'see you later', never goodbye. In the afternoons he'd pick me up and we'd go hunting, watch TV, or just hang out. Every day went by pretty much as it always had. Nothing had changed. We were the same, but different. Correction – _we_ were the same, but _I _was different. The time Jake and I spent together was now tinged for me with a yearning for something I couldn't have.

And then there was that day he took me to the movies in Port Angeles. We'd ridden up on his bike, and so I'd spent the last hour or so with my body pressed up against his muscled back, my hands splayed across his chiselled abs, trying desperately to keep my not-so-G-rated thoughts to myself. He was wearing those jeans again – the ones that made me want to squeeze his ass so badly. The black t-shirt that skimmed his muscled torso didn't help my raging teenage hormones either. He was so tall and handsome, and I obviously wasn't the only one who thought so. Just about every female's head turned as we walked into the theatre. Even the salesgirl at the candy bar was flicking her hair and flirting with him. But Jake as usual was oblivious. I huffed as I saw her slip her phone number into his hand. I was doing my best to look vaguely disinterested, but secretly smiled when I saw him drop the slip of paper into the bin.

As we made our way to our seats, I stole a few admiring glances at him. The next time they update the dictionary, I thought to myself, the definition of "Man" should just be replaced with a picture of Jacob Black. I found myself daydreaming about every inch of his body pressed up against mine. _Mmmmm_, I purred to myself.

"You okay, Ness?" he whispered, his breath hot against my ear. My heart started pounding erratically.

"Yeah, yeah, fine. Popcorn went down the wrong way," I lied, trying desperately not to blush.

He ruffled my hair, "Don't chow down on it so fast then, silly," and then lifted up the armrest that was between us. He pulled me half-way into his lap and wrapped his arms around me as we settled in for the previews.

"Sure sure" I grinned. He smiled indulgently at me. I knew he thought it was cute when I tried to emulate him. I loved it when he looked at me like that, like I was the only girl in the room. I snuggled in closer to him. "You're my favourite person in the whole world, Jake."

"And you're my mine too," he whispered. I could have sworn his lips grazed my ear and lingered just that tiny bit too long. Wishful thinking, I suppose. I felt that yearning again, and the silent ache in my chest began its usual pulling at my heartstrings. I pushed it aside, and savoured how happy I felt being so close to him again. I used to sit in his lap all the time, but for some reason he hadn't let me do it lately. I thought maybe I was getting too big and heavy and made him uncomfortable. I had felt him becoming distant in the past few weeks, but now everything felt right again. The universe was once more in balance. I snuggled in closer and listened to the comforting sound of Jake's heart.

Growing up in a household of vampires, the thrumming of my own heart was the only living sound in that otherwise cold and silent world. But it was lonely to be the only one. I sometimes felt so disconnected from the physical world around me. The only thing that could melt those thoughts away was the sound of the heart to which my own was connected – my Jake's. As he held me, I'd listen to the steady beat of his heart, knowing this was all the proof I needed that mystical creatures such as we truly existed in a seemingly normal world.

A few weeks later, we were sprawled on the couch, channel surfing the TV. Jake was telling me about Embry's new girlfriend, when it occurred to me that Jake had never had a girlfriend. God, I hoped he wasn't gay – that would just be my luck, in love with someone who didn't bat for my team. Or worse, he was some kind of vampire groupie. Actually, that would explain a lot – hot guy always hanging around with a kid and a bunch of vamps, when most of his friends (well the single ones anyway), were out wreaking havoc on the female population. That, and he never seemed to notice the women falling over themselves to get his attention.

"Why don't you have a girlfriend?" I asked. He stopped fidgeting with the remote control and looked up, a bewildered look on his face.

"What?" He looked like he was holding his breath.

"Jake, answering a question with another question is really annoying." I lectured. I needed him to take this seriously. He seemed flustered. Maybe he's stalling while he tries to make up a decent answer. He really doesn't want to tell me the truth.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to work out why you want to know." Ugh, he's stalling. Yep, he's gay. I knew it. Or he's a vampire groupie. Or a half-vampire groupie. Or a gay vampire/half-vampire groupie. God, I hadn't even thought about _that_ possibility. I wondered if that was why Dad always seemed so pissed with him.

"Well," I pointed out, "you don't seem to go on any dates, or talk to any girls. Or notice any girls. You're always here, or patrolling, or sleeping."

He grinned at me, "Oh that's easy, honey. Because I have you." Great, he's a vampire groupie then.

"So, you're always here, or patrolling, or sleeping – Because. Of. Me." I enunciated the last three words. "Awesome, Jake," I snapped. "So I take up all your time. And I guess it's my fault then, that you can't find yourself a girlfriend."

Why was I being such a bitchy, petulant child all of a sudden? I should have been relieved that he didn't have a girlfriend – if he did, he wouldn't be around here so much anymore. Was I angry because he'd just made it clear that I was cramping his social life? I was so confused now, and mad at myself, and confused again, and mad, and and - _bwaaahh, this was getting out of hand_. I got up abruptly, ready to storm out of the room – better to feign anger than risk being questioned - I intended to leave him staring after me through the slammed door.

And then I felt his hand on mine.

"Ness, you don't understand." I looked down and saw his large russet hand covering my small pale one. I shuddered at the electricity between us as he absentmindedly rubbed my palm with his thumb. The heat from his touch was heady, and the woodsy scent of his skin was making my stomach flip somersaults. My cheeks started to burn.

"Don't go," he pressed, "Please."

He'd always held my hand, ever since I was a child, but now the feel of his skin against mine triggered a deeper reaction in me. I started imagining him pulling me into his arms, his hands firmly holding my waist before roaming under my t-shirt to caress the bare skin of my back, as he crushed my lips to his...

And then I realised I was still holding his hand. I was projecting my thoughts to him. Oh crap, crap, crappity-CRAP. Damn this when-I-touch-you-I-can-project-my-thoughts-to-you-telepathically gift. Yes, it was useful most of the time, especially when I couldn't be bothered stringing words together to form a sentence, but now … _aaaaaagghh, I was so_ _busted._

I tried to pull away, but he tightened his hold.

"Ness, is that how you feel about me?"

I was completely mortified. My heart was pounding so loudly, I was sure my body was shaking with every tha-thump. I didn't know what to expect when I finally let myself look up at him, but the smile that lit up his face and the tenderness with which he looked at me stopped me in my tracks. I figured this must have been a good thing. I really hoped that I wasn't hallucinating. And then the realisation dawned on me.

He loved me too.

"So you're not a gay vampire groupie after all," I chuckled. Jake cocked his head to one side with a puzzled look and then laughed, obviously amused but wisely deciding he didn't want to follow my train of thought.

I thought my Christmases had all come at once. After years of secretly yearning, burning, longing for him, here he was, loving me too. I didn't have to hide it anymore. I could scream it from the rooftops if I wanted to. But for once I was speechless.

He beamed at me and leaned in closer. As he cupped my face with his hands, he tenderly touched his lips to mine. He murmured my name as he continued to kiss me. My heartbeat quickened. I pressed my body against his and deepened the kiss. He lifted his head and looked at me with darkening eyes. "Ness…" the huskiness in his voice was impossible to ignore. I touched my palm to his chest, and showed him what I wanted.

"Ahem, could you kids _please_ keep it PG." Great, Dad had just seen the whole thing, including my little shouldhavebeenprivate showing to Jake.

"Yes I did, young lady. And that was_ very_ inappropriate."

Grrrrrrr… I really hated having a mind-reading father. That kiss and my little suggestion to Jake weren't anywhere near half as bad as the stuff Dad and Mom got up to, if the sounds coming from their bedroom each night were anything to go by …

"That's different, Renesmee. Your mother and I are married."

And you're such an old prude, _Edward_. I glared at him. Did I say how annoying it was having a mind-reading father?

"Renesmee, that's enough, and furthermore..." but my Dad didn't finish his sentence. He was glaring at Jake, who now had a very abashed look on his face. Emmett had walked in just in time to witness the last part of that exhange, and he was laughing his ass off. I wondered what Jake was thinking.

"Aw, come on Eddie," Jake knew he hated being called that, "Gimme a break – I kept my distance the last few weeks, but she made this move. And besides, I guess this means Nessie IS kinda my girlfriend now." Dad growled at him and stomped out of the room. Now I REALLY wanted to know what Jake had been thinking. He smiled sheepishly at me and shook his head.

"No honey, not till you're older. Much older." Dammit. I was physically seventeen already. I wondered how I could get him to…

"Renesmee!" My Dad's voice called out from the next room. He was worse than a bucket of cold water. "That's enough, let it go. Okay mutt," he directed at Jake,"you're out of the doghouse for now. He heh, doghouse – get it?" I rolled my eyes. My Dad may have looked like he was a teenager, but his jokes were as corny as any old guy's.

Jake and I were married on First Beach. I still remember it, so clearly as if it had only happened yesterday. As I walked down the rose petal aisle Alice had orchestrated to perfection, I saw him waiting for me and my heart skipped a beat. He looked at me with such tenderness, I nearly burst with the love I felt for him. We vowed to love and cherish each other, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. We exchanged rings – perfect unending circles symbolising the eternity of love we would share together - and sealed our promise with a kiss. From this day forth, on the roller-coaster of life we'd scream from the peaks and hold hands through the loop-the-loops, enjoying every twist and turn – the ride would be that much better because we would do it side-by-side, together.

We spent the next few years travelling, studying, exploring. Time had no meaning for us – we would be forever young. Sometimes we joined up with the rest of the family, sometimes it was just the two of us. After years of seeing the world, we decided to move home to La Push. It was time for Jake to resume his true place as Alpha to the pack. As his Beta, Leah had led the wolves during the years we were gone. She had done a fine job, but was glad – even relieved - to hand back authority to the rightful chief.

The intervening years were peaceful. I spent my days teaching art at the Reservation's community centre, while Jake and Seth kept the "Black's Garage" chain of auto-shops growing. Most evenings we spent on our porch, the old swing rocking back and forth as we sat together in companionable silence. I loved the warmth of his arms around me as I leaned my ear against his muscular chest, listening to the strong, steady sound of his heart beating.

The day it happened, we were caught completely off guard. Like most evenings, we were sitting on our porch swing, cuddled up together. Jake was stroking my hair and chuckling about some story I was telling him about my day, when then the unmistakeable scent wafted through the air. _Vampire_.

Other than my family, there hadn't been a vampire around here in years. The smell wasn't familiar. Jake stood up and pushed me behind him, taking a defensive stance. A slow growl rumbled in his chest as the nomad came into view, its red eyes glowing in the dusky sunset.

"What kind of abomination are you?" It hissed at me. "You smell as if you are half of us, half of them, but neither truly one nor the other."

It all happened so fast I didn't have time to react. In one swift movement, the vampire had gone from the front gate to the porch, and it had me by the throat. Its gleaming white teeth were about to sink into my flesh, when I felt myself pushed away as I landed against the railing on the far end of the porch. Jake had shoved me out of the way, and took the fate that should have been mine. I looked up to see a giant russet wolf fighting the nomad to the ground. The next few seconds were like one of those slow motion movie moments. A scream caught in my throat as I saw the vampire twist its head around and sink its teeth into Jake's back. Jake shook him off, crashing the marble body against a tree. He held it down and began tearing the vampire apart, limb from limb. The nomad was dead, but its venom had already begun coursing through Jake's body. He phased back to human before doubling over and collapsing.

I threw a lighter onto the nomad's broken body and ran to Jake. The vampire's body burst into flames and a purple pyre of smoke began to snake its way into the sky. I cradled Jake in my arms, willing him to fight off the heavy darkness seeping its way through his veins. His eyes struggled to stay open. "Ness," he breathed, "did he hurt you…is it dead…"

I held him close. "I'm okay, honey, I'm okay." I murmured to him, "I've burned the body – the vampire can't hurt us anymore. Now you concentrate on fighting off that venom. Do you hear me, Jake? Fight it. Don't you dare leave me." I held my hand to his chest, projecting images of love and life. I felt him struggling against the darkness and willed him to hold on. I needed to get Jake to a doctor. I pulled out my phone to call Grandpa Carlisle, but before I could dial the number, I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. It was Mom. "Mom, Dad, do something, please" I begged. "Jake's been bitten…"

Jake's body was cold and clammy. His eyes could no longer stay open. Dad lifted him up and carried him to Grandpa Carlisle as fast as his vampire speed would allow.

As I watched them blur into the distance, the realisation of what had just happened swept over me. It was all so senseless. We didn't even know who the nomad was. He had attacked me – seemingly out of confusion, or was it prejudice? Why didn't I react faster? I could have protected Jake. I should have protected Jake. Mom held me, but her cold body provided no comfort when what I ached for was the warmth of my Jake. Hysteria began to take hold of me, before I collapsed and let the curtain of darkness close in.

When I came to, I was in my old room at Grandpa Carlisle's house. Jake was still unconscious, and Grandpa had him in the 'hospital room', hooked up to all kinds of machines. The venom had been drained from his body. Now all we could do was wait and hope that Jake pulled through. No wolf had ever survived a vampire bite, but Jake was the Alpha. He was bigger and stronger than the other wolves. If anyone could survive, it would be him. I put my hand on Jake's arm and projected my love to him, desperately hoping that in some way the steel cables that held my soul to his would help him find his way back.

Mom later explained that Alice had seen the nomad catch my hybrid scent, and make the snap decision to turn off into Wolf Lake. It was at that point he had disappeared from her vision, and Alice knew something was wrong. Mom and Dad had moved as fast as they could to get to us, only to arrive too late.

For days, I didn't leave Jake's side. Although the worst was over, we weren't completely out of the woods. The horrible grey tinge in his skin had finally started to dissipate, and the rich russet was beginning to return. The machines had now been removed too, and he was breathing on his own. Every day I would read to him, and press my hands to his body, projecting to him feelings of strength and love, willing him to find his way back from the shadows. I replayed in my mind my favourite memories of him - the way the corners of his eyes crinkled just before his face broke into a grin, his booming laugh and the deep baritone of his voice, how he looked at me and the rest of the world melted away, the warmth and comfort of his strong arms around me. But they paled in comparison to the real thing.

"Come back, Jake. Come back to me, please. " I had cried in big heaving sobs. But his body remained still, his steady breathing and unwavering heartbeat the only evidence he was still part of this world.

It was days later when my Jake finally opened his eyes. He was alive, but the venom had killed his ability to phase. He would soon start ageing again.

In what had felt like a lifetime ago, Jake and I had promised to love and cherish each other, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. The vows had been uttered as part of a scripted ceremony, and death had been but a distant notion. It was something that happened to others, not to immortals like us. The silent tears spilled over, as reality pierced my heart with its cold truth.

I would live forever, but my Jake would not.

Curled up now on the porch swing with my love, I thought about how over seventy summers had come and gone since that fateful day. I ran my fingers through Jake's now-silver hair. The laugh lines etched in his still-handsome face bearing witness to a long life well lived. I adored this gentle, brave, amazing man. I had loved him all of my life. I had loved him for most of his. And now I knew with impending dread that the moment I had feared for so long was inching ever closer.

I continued to absentmindedly play with the buttons on Jake's shirt, as I listened to the sound of his heart. I drank in the comfort of its strong steady beat, willing it to keep going. In the distance, the wind whispered through the trees and a flock of geese fluttered away across the lake. Jake's heart began to slow, like the tick-tock, tick-tock of a clock winding down. I felt the empty ache in my chest as I fought back the hot tears now stinging my eyes.

"Ness," he murmured, "my Ness…" and tightened his arm around me.

I closed my eyes and willed the world to stop. "I'm here, honey," I whispered. I needed to make this moment last forever. I could not, would not, exist in a world without my Jake.

I leaned in closer to him and rested my ear against his warm chest. I heard the sound of his heart slowly winding down. His breathing hitched, and the interval between each heartbeat became more pronounced. The slowing beat faltered and then finally stopped.

And with the final beat of my Jake's heart, I felt my own splinter and break.

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EPILOGUE

_Edward POV_

We laid Jacob to rest next to Wolf Lake, outside the home he and Renesmee had shared for most of their lives. She had continued to live there after he died, stubbornly refusing to leave. Each day she would sit by his grave, silently mourning. The light of life in her eyes was now a long-since forgotten shadow. In the evenings, she would curl up on the old porch swing they had shared for so many years, a lone lonely figure staring off into the night.

When Jacob couldn't phase anymore, Nessie knew that one day he would be gone and that she would have to face eternity without him. We couldn't turn him - the wolf gene that was part of his genetic makeup would make the venom poisonous. Even though she knew one day there would be no more 'see you later', but a final good bye for her and Jacob, that day had seemed so far away. They had lived in the warmth of each other's love, taking each day as it came, and treasuring each precious moment. With every passing day he grew older, while she remained frozen in time, eternally seventeen.

I often watched her thoughts as she looked at Jacob, trying to remember everything she could about him. She filled her memories with every possible detail, desperately hoping that when the time finally came to say goodbye, her heart might have something to draw on for solace through the long lonely years she knew lay ahead.

The old Quileute legends told of the wolves not living for long after their imprints died – when the gravity that holds your soul to the earth is gone, there is only emptiness left. It seems that the imprint works both ways.

I was the one who found Renesmee's lifeless body, curled up against Jacob's headstone. The last of her tears lay upon her now peaceful face, frozen by the cold winter air. The icy droplets glittered in the morning sun - the final witnesses to my child's broken heart. The light of life that had so long been gone from her eyes had now left the rest of her too. Her death was unexplainable – like us, she was supposed to have been immortal.

We laid her body to rest next to Jacob's. Not even in death would they part. I thought of how the circles of the wedding rings they exchanged a lifetime ago were the perfect symbols of their love – always and never ending.

As I placed the white lilies down on my children's final resting place, I choked back the tears I could not cry. And silently I prayed.

"If there truly is a next life, may your souls find each other again."

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><p><strong>AN: Postscript, 18 December 2011**

_Hi everyone_

_I've just posted a short one-shot by way of a sequel to this story. It's called 'A Twilight Christmas Carol' and tells the story of how Jake and Nessie find each other again._

_I started thinking a lot about writing something along these lines, especially after readers told me how much they liked With Every Beat Of My Heart but found the sad ending unbearable. So this is my way of bringing, hopefully, a little Christmas magic to the Twilight universe._

_Love and peace,  
>~ BlackImprint.<em>


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